I almost forgot what it feels like to cram for a test. And after doing it for last week's midterms, I must say that I don't miss it at all.

This week has been the most irritating, yet hopeful week. I'm struggling in yet another American Studies class, with it being very subjective and all. At this rate, I might as well minor in American Studies. I've taken almost all the requirements for the program anyway. Hah, too bad I hate American Studies. (Why do I trick myself into taking it thinking it might be different?) As interesting as it is learning history and being analytical, the whole field is too broad for me. The structure is so abstract depending on how I jab at each element of history. I think I just like the whole idea of essays as tests. If I could stay away from mutipul choice, I would. Writing up an analytical piece is way easier than memorizing specific info. Also, backing up my reasonsings is always a possiblity of boosting my grade if I'm not satisficed with the initial.

Anyways, enough of this school talk.

One thing I'm learning right now and really struggling with is the heart of servanthood. Though my physical actions resemble servanthood, I'm starting to question my heart --whether it's serving as well. I'm thrown by the thought of Jesus serving, though I'm not sure why because I've been knowing that Jesus came to this earth to serve. I guess sometimes I pass off the reality of him sacrificing something. (Because that's what serving requires). "Duh, he's God. Of course it's easy for him." That's probably what my subconscience thinks. Maybe my mentality of serving never required much sacrifice to a point where it hurt. Is it because I never had to give up my pride of not knowing? Maybe "serving" has always been easy for me since I'm talented in the area of where I'm serving.

This questioning of my servanthood goes beyond cell leading, worship ministry, and cleaning. I'm talking about serving as a Christian. I'm talking about in every aspect of my life, dedicated to serving Jesus.



Incomplete thoughts make great journal entries --short and somewhat deep.

For those who remembered that I said I'd update weekly, I'm sorry.

School has been busy. This past birthday was probably one of the best birthdays so far.

That is allll!!!